Monday, March 14, 2011

Near deaths, drug tests, and birthdays.

I haven't blogged in a couple of days, intentionally. I was avoiding having to talk about Thursday. However, it's been long enough. Thursday I picked up a day shift with my over-night lady. Her primarily caregiver went on vacation and she doesn't do well with people she doesn't know. So,  I decided to take it on. Now, we were having a wonderful day. She slept in a bit, she took her medicine without fight, we chatted a bit, she had company. And then, out of no where, she had a stroke. She just collapsed to the floor. Well, if you want to be technical she collapsed, I caught her, and then lowered her to the floor. It took me an hour and fifteen minutes to get anyone out there to look at her. Seriously? An emergency and it takes that long? Luckily she came to about 40 minutes into it. She still wasn't really talking, but she mumbled a bit and was breathing heavier. I am relieved that she is okay. However, that scared the living shit out of me.

Onto happier things!
My bladder's worst enemy
On Friday I had a pap-smear . She said everything looked wonderful. Thank god. I always get so unreasonably nervous. She was a little too thorough though, and I got a surprise finger up the butt. It's all good though. It isn't like that's the first action my butt's ever gotten ;) I know that was awful and too personal. Oh well, get over it. While I was there she also commented on my armpits....the part of my body I am the most self conscious about. They're a tiny bit darker than the rest of my body. They always have been. I just assumed some girls were like that, some people were like that. Apparently it means that I am insulin resistant and I am at risk for diabetes. Ouch. That makes me want to stick to my exercise/diet plan even more.

I also got my annual drug test Friday. Gosh, was that a nightmare. First off, to be a hundred percent honest, yeah I have been smoking pot. I won't lie. But, I stopped a few weeks before drug test time. So, naturally, that in itself made me super nervous. Additionally though, I have the shyest bladder known to man. I can not force myself to pee on command. It doesn't work like that. I was there for a full hour and I had nine glasses of water before I managed what little I did. I did it though, and peed a hundred times through-out the remainder of the night.

Gosh, I just realized there are a poop ton of things I want to touch on, but I don't have that much time before work. Let's skip ahead a bit and make a separate post for those other things.

Yesterday was Justin's birthday! He turned 23. He keeps saying he's getting old, but 23 really isn't even mid-twenties. He's silly.I didn't do much, and it makes me feel bad. Usually every year I go all out, but I didn't this year. I just made cake, made dinner, tidied up a bit, made a card and let him do whatever he wanted. Which was watch a lame ass anime. But, it's his birthday and I make sure to always do whatever the birthday person wants. I had a mini-breakdown because I felt so bad for not doing more right before he got home. I just don't have a lot of money. He said it was the best birthday he had ever had. I am sure he was just saying that to make me feel better though. I hope he really did enjoy it.
Chocolate espresso cake with cheesecake and layers of chocolate mousse
The first picture of Justin as a 23 year old.

Also, yesterday morning at work, I broke a thermometer. I had to give it a proper memorial. I am lame, I know.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

So many appointments!

So, yesterday I had my first dentist appointment. It wasn't all that bad. I do have a cavity though. =( I was afraid of hearing that. Over-all though, she said I took exceptional care of my teeth. She even asked if I had ever had braces, because my teeth were so straight. It was flattering. Especially since I have such an insecurity about my teeth.
Now for the fun part, do you want to see my teeth? You know you do! (You can also see my nose/tongue ring if you look hard enough.) I am going to make it extra large so you can get a good look. (extra large was too big and hung off the edge of my blog..sorry)
Now, if you look closely, you'll notice that I don't have any bottom wisdom teeth. How exciting is that? That's two teeth that will never have to be removed... because they don't exist. I am not sure if I will actually have to my top ones removed or not. I have an appointment next week to get that looked at. I have a lot of appointments this upcoming week.

After the dentist, I jetted over to my doctor appointment. It's the time of year where I get tested for TB! Two days of being completely obsessive over not touching a certain part of my arm! Yay! It's starting to turn red, and that concerns me. I don't want a false positive! I hope I didn't accidentally sleep on it! I worry too much about silly things. Who doesn't though?

In addition to my TB test, I found a doctor that I actually like. I know, it's crazy, I hate doctors. However, this lady actually sat and talked with me for an hour. That's mind blowing. That's one of the reasons I hate doctors, they treat you like you don't matter and they're so arrogant. Not this woman. Additionally, she used to be an allergist. We briefly discussed my ridiculous amount of allergies and my reactions to them. She seems to think that I might not actually be allergic to the foods I think I am. I might just have a severe pollen allergy and there is medicine for that! I might be able to go to a restaurant and not have a mild panic attack about accidentally eating something I shouldn't. That's so exciting. She even managed to work me into an allergist this up coming week. And she convinced me to get my pap. I hate those. I hate doctors peering deep into my vagina. I worry what they think. I worry that it might be the ugliest vagina they've ever seen. I worry that they'll find something awful, like a penis. I know that isn't actually plausible, but what if they come up for air and inform me I am really a man and all of the other doctors must have over-looked it for the past twenty years. I am completely kidding, I hope you know that. It shouldn't be so bad though. I hope.

Work today was pretty great. We were busy, but I worked with a great guy who cut up with me the whole time and was a fantastic worker. He also drives a rapist van. Until I know him a bit better he is going to be known as the guy with the beard who drives the rapist van. I am glad to be home though, for now. In a little while I have to put clothes back on and go back to work for a meeting. Augh, meetings. I'd rather be napping.

However, when I get home Justin promised me arby's and frozen yogurt! I am excited about that. Here's to hoping he remembers!

Well, I hope everyone is having a good week/day.


**For a fun bonus, here is how stupid I look at the dentist.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

I have a confession

I have never really been to the dentist. Well, I went once when I was five because I tried to pull my teeth out with pliers, but all they did was ask if I wanted them to go ahead and pull it out and I said no. Then we went home. But, yesterday after using some disgusting whitening kit with a weird blue light for thirty minutes, I discovered that I might have a cavity. Me, a cavity. The lady who obsessively brushes her teeth and can't stand to use a tooth brush for more than a week. Me, the lady who carries floss in her wallet. A cavity? Maybe two??! So, I used trusty old Google to find a dentist in the area. Luckily there is one right down the street for me beside my gym. Justin mentioned drills. Will they really take a drill to my teeth or is he just messing with me? If you love me, you'll tell me the truth. Or wait, do I want the truth? I feel like a five year old all over again. I am not going to be afraid of a silly old doctor appointment. I do not want someone there to  hold my hand. Nope, nope, nope. Well, maybe. I am hoping they  can get me in either before or after my 2:30 doctor appointment.

I wish that I had water. I would love to brush my teeth and shower before I go see doctors today. Stupid continuous plumbing issues. Stupid Justin for showering up until they turned it off leaving me no opportunity to shower. Perhaps I should take the water out of our brita pitcher and boil it and then let it cool until it's room temperature and then kindof wash myself. Or I suppose I could just use my dry shampoo. I over think things.

Wish me luck!


** Appointment made for 12:45. Eek! =D

Monday, March 7, 2011

Monday, monday

The family gathering was a success! No one started a fight, there was no family drama, and the food was delicious. Unfortunately the gossip didn't start until toward the end of the meal. I honestly feel like that we should all start off with that.I also lucked out with a box of Thin Mints at the end. I loooove Thin Mints. I really don't need them though. I have been doing so well with my weight loss. A few can't hurt though, can they?

While we were in Lexington, we found this wonderful store called Gabriel Brothers. Oh my goodness. That places is awesome. They have so many adorable things for so freaking cheap. It's like an outlet type store. I got three bras, a pair of underwear, two shirts, and a sweater. For how much you ask? 19 dollars. 19 dollars! How can you beat that? In may Kjre and I are going to go shopping there. We are specifically saving up for it. That's when our weight loss goal is complete. Well, not completely complete, but that's when we're shooting for being much smaller. She doesn't really need to be any smaller, but I do.

On a different note, I received a huge booklet from work this past weekend informing me that I am now eligible for 401k! I am very excited to save for my retirement! How lame is that? I am 19 and saving for my retirement? Oh well, It's a good thing. It's okay to feel like an old lady when it comes to something that important.

I work my overnight tonight. I certainly hope that she behaves herself. I always hope she behaves herself lol.

Well, that's about all I have to update on, as usual. I'm happy as a clam and life is boring.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Well, I'm awake. I am sitting here smoking my morning cigarette, trying to decide what I want to wear today. I normally wouldn't care so much about what to wear, but today mom and I are going to Lexington to see my aunts/cousins/uncles and I only see them once every couple of years. I always want to leave a good impression. I really wish that I had some coffee right now. It would be a nice addition to my morning, and a nice balcony to sit on. I miss my balcony from when I lived on campus. I woke up every single morning and sat on my balcony until it was time to get ready for the day.

I officially had a bad day at my new job. I really dislike working with douchey people. I am not normally a harsh judge of character like that, but this guy seriously was. Working with him was absolutely miserable. I won't ramble too much more about it, because I am sure no one wants to hear about that.

Goodness, where does the time go? It's already time to be out of the shower.
I suppose I can update more when I get home. Have a good day everyone!

Friday, March 4, 2011

I have an awful case of the I-really-don't-want-to-be-awake's this morning. I think it has something to do with not getting to bed until almost 1:30. I played how-many-times-can-I-hit-snooze-before-it-gets-ridiculous for long a while.It goes without saying that I don't want to be awake. I want to be in bed, curled up under my blanket, nice and warm. I don't even know why I am blogging. I should be showering. I just don't want to go to work. It's too early to be going to work. At least I get off at 11. And then I can go to the gym! I am proud of myself, almost every day this week I have gone. Maybe just maybe I will stick to it this time. 

Wish me luck today! It is my first shift without any aid to assistance from anyone. I either get it right today or upset a lot of customers. I think I will go with getting it right. 

Well, it's time for me to get my happy ass in the shower. I  officially have 20 minutes to get ready. Gotta love putting that off until last minute.

Btw, look at this awesome bed! It makes me giggle. And he looks oddly comfortable. I want to be all warm and snuggly like that in my bed....



Thursday, March 3, 2011

What makes the world go 'round?

I get really lonely when I work overnights. I find myself constantly longing to be at home in my own bed. I just want to be warm and to have someone to cuddle with. Sure, I find a strong sense of pleasure in what I do. I love helping people. I love how happy they get just because of something as simple as me tucking them in and handing them their prized stuffed animals to cuddle with. But, after they're asleep, all I want is to go home and do the exact same thing. I wish Doodle was here. He would curl up beside me and Cutely dominate whatever space I am in. He might be a stinker, but he is my stinker.

I find myself continually torn in so many different directions. I want so badly to do everything I can to make everyone else's life easier. It stretches me thin. Everyone keeps talking about the awesome things they're doing with their tax returns and it reminds me that I didn't get myself anything with mine. It's all gone now. I sent my dad a couple hundred dollars, I paid my car insurance for a little while, I purchased a few fun gifts for loved ones, and then I lost a considerable amount of hours at work and spent the rest on bills and gas. I still need new tires. I still need to work on paying hospital bills. I still need to pay my student loan for the past two months. I wish that money didn't make the world go 'round. What ever happened to bartering? That was a solid system that not only worked well, but helped sustain a well bonded community where everyone did their part. But then greed took over the world. It isn't money that makes the world go 'round, I take that back. It is greed.

I wish that I could have been born in another time. I feel like I would fit in better. I believe in helping all of those around you, I believe in hard work and earning what you have, I believe in having morals and values, I believe in common courtesy, I believe in being the best person you can be, I believe in moderation. I want to live in a little farm house and grow my own food. I want my neighbours to be my best friend. I want to know everyone in my tiny little town. I want to have a family and bond with them every night. I want to get away from technology and go back to real letters, the true written word. I want people to really feel things and truly experience the world around them. Haha, I kindof even want to just sit by the lake and go fishin'. I don't even like fishing, but I like sitting in the middle of no where with good company and the relaxing sway of the water.

I am silly, I know.
Blame it on the lack of sleep and impending explosion due to stress.